woah, its really beeeen ages since i last update this dusty blogg. firstly, ive beeeen really busy and caught up with tons of school works and other personal stuff. secondly, i cant be bothered cusz who bothers to read this un-popular stupid dumb old girl's blog. theres just tons of things to update and imma make it a simple without further elaboration.

it would definately be a lie if i would say things and life are treating me great. (1) friends do come and go. some are plain plastic . some just dont bother. some are tooo focus in life to not even care about others. some forgets. and thats parts and parcels of life . thats just how it is. we live for years and its not healthy to depend everything on someone. someone you called your special friend/bestfriend/bff. basically at some point of life they would have their own life to focus on . (i agree that some would last , about 2/10?) im not writing this fo the sake of writing it. im writing this because on the 19years of my life, ive experience it over and over again. well, maybe i wasnt good enough . but i just wanna let you kno that it hurts me so much to be friends-hopping. (2) now, i couldnt believe it in my own eyes that its happening to me. why must i be sick. why me? why cant god pick someone else. dont he love me? i hate being this sick. i hate feeling so weak. i hate this feeling. ive beeeen really down and sensitive thiszxc days. ive been really depressed. i dont wanna kill someone with life. im cruel. i kno i am. but what option do i have. some things are better left unsaid. cusz no matter how hard you tried sharing or explaining. it wont be the same as having you in my position. facing all this fvcking shitsxzc. i think im done with it. (3) ive always let my family down. i never do any goood in my family. ive always been the last in education. ive always made mom angry. ive always made mom cried. im not gooooood enough. i wonder why dad left us so fast. i wonder why he left me a biggest resposibility in this family when he truly knows that im not ready for it. i felt trapped and i had no choice. i have to carry on even tho somehow its difficult.

well. it may be some fvcking emo stories fo you but its definately a fvcking challenge fo me. till then. xx