the end.

today would be the last day of thiss year. everyone surely knows that. and by the time now, i assume. everyone is busy making plans on where to head to this countdown. cusz i agree, theres just toooo much parties going on here and there. well. everyone wants to start a new year. cusz basically from what ive heard, 2010 is really not a goood year. but fo me, somehow it taught me a lesson in life. so here it goes.

maybe, i grown up from my secondary school years not being independent. i meant, yeah. i cant be alone. when i walk alone i felt that people would look at me and laugh or look-and-giggle kinda thing? but this year, it has taught me quite a lesson on how to be independent and its alright to be alone. some parts of life you hafta face everything alone, even tho ykno you have someone to turn to. besides being independant. ive learn that friends really do come and go. the words "friends forever" does exist but to some extend, it will eventually dissapear. i have alot of friends. to be exact, i have tons of them. and i appretiate every circle of them. but to think again, when im down and i wanna share to someone or needs a shoulder to cry on. i dont think i could find any. as the matter of fact, none ! not saying they ditch me, but yeah, works, ns , relationship and their own problem they are facing. so this year, is really a challange fo me. this year, i prove to people that sometimes being alone could be better fo yor ownself to learn and study your heart, your mind, your body.

love isnt being really good to me this year. i meant it is but im the one who make it bad. ive hurt too much souls. ive made to much mistakes. but finally, ive come to my senses. ive finally made up my mind to settledown fo good. and not hurt anymore heart. i really hope , you wont be my karma baby. cusz yor the bestest thing ive ever met and i dont wanna lose you again. you meant alot to me baby. yes, i love it when you bite my ears cusz i feel like punching you .

family was ups and down this year. after dad left mum easily falls sick. she became much more sensitive in almost everything. i meant she would cry even at a smallest thing but yes, i cant blame her. i understand, being together fo 25years? spending everyday together, sharing stories before heading to bed. having breakfast before heading to work. calling each other during lunch to complain on almost everything. those rides to and fro from work. i kno how you feel. today is their wedding anniversary. 31 december. if dads still around, we would be celbrating our countdown at hotel, eating buffet and watching the fireworks from our hotel room like any other years. but this year, fo the first time, its difrrent. but i kno, mommy is strong enough to face the future on nomatter what obstacle that are hitting hard on us. mommy is strong enough to raise two naughty and big headed daughters. fo that mommy, i love you. i love you so much in the whole wide world.

lastly, to those who are reading this. im sorry fo every mistakes ive done. intentionally or un-intentionally. the problems ive cause. the shame ive made you embaress. the harsh words i ive said. ahhh everything lah. so yeah, have a great new year . xx